Stretched Too Thin

I feel like I'm being s t r e t c h e d too thin. Someone always needs something from me and usually there are conflicting needs. I feel almost required to spread myself out to hang out with different people but then those people complain because it's been a while (while I'm trying to make time for other people) and I just start the cycle all over again. It makes for one extremely stressed ginger, I'll tell you that.

That's part of the reason I've been dropping friends like nobody's business lately. I just don't have the patience to put up with everyone's whining when I don't do what they want to do or call them every day or hang out with them enough. Sorry, some people have to work and study and actually try to do stuff with their life, and I can't always be there when you need me. It's not that I don't try, I just can't. I just CAN'T, you know???

It's not just friends, it's also work. There are two positions where I work (an animal hospital), one is up front doing secretary work, making calls, appointments, filling medications, etc. The other is in the back, doing Vet Tech stuff, checking on the animals, doing notes, temperature, eye pressure, dentals, etc. So where am I? Somewhere in the middle, where the people up front want me to help them, the people in the back want me to help them, and the Dr. who doesn't really know what the hells going on also needs me to help her. What is my job, exactly? What am I supposed to be doing???

I asked for a raise, for one. Today. And I actually got it. Thank god too, because I threw a fit like a p e t u l a n t c h i l d last night because I found out this baboon that works with me gets paid more than me. Uh. No. Think again.

On another note, it was fathers day today, and we had a family thing at my grandmother's house. Lots of food, went out on the boat, way too hot.

I haven't been sleeping much or well lately (or really ever); I am such a light sleeper and I wake up at any change in light intensity, if it's too hot or cold, the drop of a pin... Plus I think I'm in a constant state of paranoia or anxiety or something because it takes me forever to go to sleep and I never really feel fully rested. I can't remember the last time I slept the whole night through, got enough sleep, and woke up by myself, no alarm or with something imperative I have to be doing as soon as I awake. Sometimes I can't get to sleep at all, like Alice in Wonderland and that little white rabbit...

What is it they say about people with insomnia?

You're never really awake and you're never really asleep.