My Letter to Sweden

Dear Sweden,

There are so many things I want to say to you before I go but, please know, that I'm going to miss you. I'm going to miss your education system, and all the goodness that comes with it including not having to go to class, not having homework (ever), and basically playing the Sims 3 or reading during all my lectures and still getting good grades. I don't appreciate you making it so cold though, you frigid bitch. I'm pretty sure I'm never going to feel my thighs again.

Additionally, biking 3 miles to school and 3 miles back? Thanks for trying to be kind and making me lose some of my fat ass but, honestly, don't you think that was a little harsh? I know what you're thinking; but the scenery is so pretty! Well, those are really nice sentiments, but 1 mile could have done it, or maybe some warm weather to make up for the distance? Or what about a moped... or maybe not making me get up super early to go to class, half asleep as I peddle my wobbly legs... Okay, okay sorry, I'm getting out of hand when you've been so good to me.

You gave me an AWESOME living situation with 8 other people that I really like. Also I got my own room with my own bathroom! Seriously, every other living situation has been pretty much hell, and you took this into account and totally pimped yourself out for me, and I appreciate it. Also, thanks for the eye candy. Your people are every stereotype I thought they'd be -- thanks for being so straight forward about it. And thanks for deporting all your redheads, I've only caught a few strays. Which reminds me...

Appreciation goes out for you letting me be your foreign, intriguing, redheaded, American babe (subjective? Maybe...) for a semester. It gave me rather a lot of social leeway in cool points without any extra effort!

But... Eff you for how expensive you made the food. Seriously, as an American, I eat a lot of meat and you really screwed me on that. Also, government-run alcohol stores... that close at 5 pm?!?!?! YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR MIND! I suppose you think because it gets dark at 3 pm that you can do this sort of thing, but I honestly think you need to reevaluate your archaic ways. I'm 21... I CAN'T PLAN AHEAD!

However, you probably think you more than made up for it by making me tolerate (key word) [[very]]chopped up cooked carrots and onions, but this was only a minor sacrifice on your part. However, I'm willing to look it over because you housed me away from all the psychopaths in my motherland for 4 months. Luckily, if I should eventually get the ball rolling on my plan for world-domination, your snow-covered breasts will not be a target for any chemical warfare or nuclear attacks. HEY, I'M JUST SAYING ITS A POSSIBILITY.

Thanks again,

Your trusty steed,

Haley

P.S. ICA Folkes, you can just go die.

P.P.S. But save the 3 for 10 candy bars you have, its all you're good for.

<3

The End is Near

I welcome December with open arms... WAIT NO. It's cold here. Really, really cold. I know you're complaining, saying "Oh, well it's cold here too and it just snowed 3 inches!" Well sorry to burst your complaining bubble, but my complaining bubble is significantly larger and more important than yours, not to mention it's rather burly like a mountain man and hasn't shaved in months...

The point is, there is more than a foot of snow on the ground and it gets dark here by 3.30 pm. That's pretty effing early. I pray for the days that it snows because then its at least 25 degrees, which is hella warm here. Meanwhile, my sleep pattern is completely thrown off and I frequently can't sleep at night and opt to take random 4 hour naps when it suits me.

I'm sitting here studying right now for the test I have tomorrow in Dog and Cat Genetics, Health, and Reproduction. And I'll tell you, it isn't very fun. I didn't realize how much information there was to study and of course I had the weekend to study but we all know how weekends go... Awesome, but definitely devoid of studying. So here I am, cramming once again. I hope it won't be that bad of a test. The test isn't actually graded, but I have to pass the test to pass the class. Isn't that crazy? There is absolutely ZERO homework here, and all I have to turn in is a paper that isn't even very hard. And attendance isn't even required.

Speaking of which, last quarter I took 2 other classes and I found out I got the highest final grade in the class (60.5 out of 61) even though I probably skipped the most. I feel highly superior, I'll be honest. I'm not looking forward to coming home and having to deal with so much bullshit from all my classes including, but not limited to: extra tests, weekly homework, required attendance, unnecessarily complicated lectures, huge classrooms with a massive amount of students, less one-on-one time, infinitely more boring/monotonous teachers, harsh grading scales, and less dog/cat/animal classes in favor of annoying chemistry courses that I oh-so-hate. Haha, but no, let me tell you how I really feel.

Meanwhile, going off my tirade for a moment, I got interviewed on Friday by a journalist, so anyone that reads the West Lafayette paper, yea I'm basically a celebrity. Okay, but seriously I got interviewed by this guy from the paper who is in Sweden currently to cover the Nobel Prize week that is taking place in Stockholm. I guess he's here because one of the Purdue Professor's got the Nobel Prize for chemistry or physics, I can't remember which, but as he was here for an entire week, he needed to do other articles and I guess I'm one of them. He was doing a piece on my travel to Sweden and all that. I don't know when it'll be in the paper, but I'll let you know when I figure it out.

Also, met with a friend after that and attempted to go Christmas shopping but ended up failing miserably because I'm so bad at finding good presents for people. I bought my brother something months ago at a sweet sale at one of the nations, but besides that I'm completely at a loss of where to buy touristy things for my family. Plus, did I mention I'm out of money? I have seriously spent so much money here, and honestly most of it was on extra food somehow that I didn't have the heart to tell my father I was buying because he already spends so much money on me.

Not to mention the POUNDS AND POUNDS of chocolate I have managed to consume over the months I've been here. Seriously it's turning into a problem and I probably have like 5 cavities now that I don't know about...

Oh yea, went to a birthday party on Saturday night. Didn't actually know the birthday boy, but I knew a friend of a friend of a friend of his and somehow ended up going. It was pretty fun, lots of crazies though. No matter, being foreigner has its social perks and I'm always intriguing because they don't know about the U.S. and if all else fails I can just make stuff up, can't I?

Men Vs. Women

In Soviet Russia...

Lamb's Head Party

Okay, so I worked at Gotland's nation last night at the Lamb's Head Gasque from 3-midnight and I'm pretty sure I only got paid like...25 dollars. But whatever, it was still really fun. Basically the night consisted of me and some 15 other people serving like 200 guests 2 courses (and drinks).

They actually ate lamb's heads.

LAMB'S HEADS.

Let me tell you, they smell really bad. Also, there's very little meat on them, mostly just the cheek, and if you're "lucky" enough to get a tongue, which not everyone did. The precourse was some weird bread with sauce that had lamb and apple in it. Not a very good dinner if you ask me, but apparently it's a tradition. Anyway, it was formal so everyone was real fancy, but keep in mind this IS a nation and there was very LITTLE in the way of actual food, so with all the drinks everyone got, everyone got real drunk real quick.

What's the big deal, you ask?... well I'll tell you. When Swedish people get together and get drunk this means they do ridiculous things. Such as popping out the eyeballs of unsuspecting lamb's heads and putting them in shots and taking the shots. WITH THE EYEBALL IN IT. Some people got really drunk and didn't realize that the nerve attached to the back of the eye shouldn't actually be consumed, nor the lens of the eye. But that doesn't stop them. Oh no.

Proceed to people dressed in their underwear and then donning horns that make them look like naked sheep. A couple of guys prancing around in lamb loin clothes and horns playing the fiddle. Overall everything just got ridiculous, I can safely say that. Then we cleared the tables and moved them away because there was a live band that night. The after party commenced.

Oh wait, let me rewind for a minute. At the party there was this stuff called "Gotland's Brew". It's some kind of mix between beer and liquor and tasted about as bad as if you would mix the two, at any rate. Well it's illegal everywhere to make it except Gotland (the island) because it's a tradition. Well Gotland's Nation imported a bunch of it to serve to the guests and there was some left over. Wondering why it's illegal?

Well apparently it's a lot more alcoholic than you would think by just tasting it. So you're like oh, well this is pretty gross but it's not that alcoholic. WRONG.

= me really drunk dancing to Miley Cyrus and God only knows what else.

GO SWEDEN GO!

Gonna Need a Smaller Spoon

These are Elves

P.S. Tonight I'm working at Gotlands lamb head party. Yes. People are served lambs head. I'll let you know how it goes later. But, I'm just saying... Lambs head?